Canine Wars
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Canine Wars

Canine wars! a battle between Wolves and Dogs. choose your side!
 
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Welcome to Caninewars! Canine forum-based roleplaying!
If your registered, feel free to jump on the chatbox and have a chat with anyone who might be online (or about to come online)
Please remember to check the RULES & IMPORTANT INFORMATION thread often, ignorance is no excuse and the important stuff is there!
Say hi and head over to the INTRODUCE YOURSELF! forum to, well, introduce yourself!

 

 Stray

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PostSubject: Stray   Stray Icon_minitimeSat Dec 27, 2008 5:53 pm

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Adalwolf
Webmaster/Administrator
Webmaster/Administrator
Adalwolf


Approved Characters : Destur
Posts : 676
Join date : 2008-03-26
Age : 31
Location : Queensland, Australia

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PostSubject: Re: Stray   Stray Icon_minitimeSun Dec 28, 2008 7:17 am

Looks good...

Hate to be picky.... so I'll just pick on one bit Razz
NOTE: the underlined bit are just to help point out what im talking about

"Years and years ago, a band of dog's who knew know boundaries were set astray.They fought against the human's for the freedom of all canines.But lost, now the relations of these mighty dogs, and the help from other loner or rogue dogs.As well wolves."


"a band of dog's who knew"

should be...

"a band of dogs who knew"

(No ' )


"who knew know boundaries were set astray"

should be...

"who knew no boundaries were set astray"

(know is to have knowledge, no is... well, no.)
(Would a better word to use then "set astray" be "set free"?)


"the freedom of all canines.But lost, "

this bit should be like...

"the freedom of all canines, but lost."

(The full stop & comma are switched, also note the space after the 'b')


and this dosnt make sense

"now the relations of these mighty dogs, and the help from other loner or rogue dogs.As well wolves"


(I ran outta time to check anything else, its past midnight Razz )

also, if u need any help moderating, administrating, ideas, error-checking, etc, just gimme a yell, I might sign up tomorrow...

regards, adalwolf
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BK Moon

BK Moon


Approved Characters : Ibham Sadim
Posts : 937
Join date : 2008-03-28
Age : 26
Location : Chilling with my horse :D

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PostSubject: Re: Stray   Stray Icon_minitimeMon Jan 26, 2009 11:35 am

I'm joining-as TwilightPrincess of course.
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http://www.shadowsilversonic.chocoforum.com
Varya
Administrator
Administrator
Varya


Posts : 2005
Join date : 2008-03-28
Age : 27
Location : Colorado

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PostSubject: Re: Stray   Stray Icon_minitimeMon Jan 26, 2009 5:11 pm

I'll join as Vikenti, since the name Blue is already taken.
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BK Moon

BK Moon


Approved Characters : Ibham Sadim
Posts : 937
Join date : 2008-03-28
Age : 26
Location : Chilling with my horse :D

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PostSubject: Re: Stray   Stray Icon_minitimeThu Jan 29, 2009 8:21 am

*Gasp* Who would do such a thing?! affraid
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PostSubject: Re: Stray   Stray Icon_minitime

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