Stray

MajesticWolfs · Subject: Stray Sun Dec 28, 2008 12:53 am

http://stray.ogamewar.com/index.htm

This is a site I made.

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Smokey

Pets name: Smokey
Sierra

Pets name: Sierra
Rez

Pets name: Rezou,You Must Be Strong.I May Not Be With You But You Got To Hold On.They'll See In Time.[/b]

Adalwolf · Subject: Re: Stray Sun Dec 28, 2008 2:17 pm

Looks good...

Hate to be picky.... so I'll just pick on one bit Razz

NOTE: the underlined bit are just to help point out what im talking about

"Years and years ago, a band of dog's who knew know boundaries were set astray.They fought against the human's for the freedom of all canines.But lost, now the relations of these mighty dogs, and the help from other loner or rogue dogs.As well wolves."

"a band of dog's who knew"

should be...

"a band of dogs who knew"

(No ' )

"who knew know boundaries were set astray"

should be...

"who knew no boundaries were set astray"

(know is to have knowledge, no is... well, no.)
(Would a better word to use then "set astray" be "set free"?)

"the freedom of all canines.But lost, "

this bit should be like...

"the freedom of all canines, but lost."

(The full stop & comma are switched, also note the space after the 'b')

and this dosnt make sense

"now the relations of these mighty dogs, and the help from other loner or rogue dogs.As well wolves"

(I ran outta time to check anything else, its past midnight Razz

)

also, if u need any help moderating, administrating, ideas, error-checking, etc, just gimme a yell, I might sign up tomorrow...

regards, adalwolf

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For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack (Rudyard Kipling)

{{this is my way of talking Out Of Character on a RP topic}}

My characters:
Ashban (or Ash), Wolf, Male, Alpha Wolf (elected)
Zamot (or Zam), Dog, Male, German Shepherd

TwilightPrincess · Subject: Re: Stray Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:35 pm

I'm joining-as TwilightPrincess of course.

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I am the voice of the wind and the pouring rain, I am the voice that is calling you. I am the voice, I will remain.

Blue · Admin Posts: 2005 Join date: 2008-03-28 Location: Colorado

I'll join as Vikenti, since the name Blue is already taken.

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"I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned."

TwilightPrincess · Subject: Re: Stray Thu Jan 29, 2009 3:21 pm

*Gasp* Who would do such a thing?! affraid

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I am the voice of the wind and the pouring rain, I am the voice that is calling you. I am the voice, I will remain.